Thursday, August 14, 2008

Fear

(I know two blog posts in one day.....who would've thunk it?)

The house is quiet and everyone (including my wildcat Oscar is sleeping). The last few days have been chaotic, to say the least. What really upsets me more than anything, is I feel gripped by fear, which in turn makes me feel that I'm not in control....which is never a good thing.

Of course, I have fear for my BB. I fear that he has to go under surgery again so soon. I've watched him as he tries to be his stoic self and be the 'man' and not admit that he's in pain so badly that it brings him to his knees.

I fear for PMM. She's starting school again and her best friend moved this summer. She's aprehensive about school and I keep trying to comfort her, encourage her...but at the same time I have such fear for her. Worried that someone will be mean to her, or that she'll be playing by herself on the playground....because I want so much for her.

I, even, have fear for me. I've never been in the situation that I haven't had family to lean on in a situation. The stubborn Irish West-Virginian woman wants to take on the world all by herself. Doesn't want to ask for anyone's help. Unfortunately, I don't have a choice in this situation. People have had to cover my shifts at work, neighbors have picked up Mogley from school, kept her while I was at the hospital, etc. I also find myself very blessed to have the friends and neighbors around me that do pitch in when the need arises. They have been such a wonderful support and comfort, that I could never repay their kindness and selflessness.

Please keep all of us in your thoughts and prayers. I will keep you guys updated.

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